God's gift to me this morning ♥
Aug 30, 2010
Aug 29, 2010
Saying Goodbye
Where do I start. It's been a very emotional couple of days.
For those of you who haven't heard, Jeremy and I said goodbye to our 3rd baby yesterday. Let me tell you the story.
About 2 weeks ago I had some very, very light spotting. It was barely anything but to me I immediately had a bad feeling because I've never spotted with my last two. Many women spot during pregnancy and their babies are just fine but I just felt in my spirit that something wasn't right.
A week later I had some abdominal pain all day - not cramping - just some weird pains. It only lasted a day and that was it. I didn't think much of it.
Fast forward to my birthday, Thursday the 26th. I took the kids to the park that morning and got home, went to the bathroom and said "Uh-oh". My heart sank. I was spotting and this time it was much more and bright red. Not a good sign. Again, I immediately had a bad feeling.
Sometimes it's a hard balance because it's important to claim God's promises in our lives and stand on His word and not believe every bad report that is given but bad things do happen - hard times do come and we have to face them, accept them and heal from them. It's just part of life.
I called my midwife and she asked me a few questions and then told me if the spotting continued or if it increased or if I started to cramp to call her back and she would order an ultrasound. Well, I called her the next morning (Friday the 27th) because it hadn't stopped and I really wanted to go in and get that ultrasound and ease my mind either way.
She sent me in to this place right by the hospital where I delivered Gracelyn. I decided I wanted to go alone (although Jer would have come with me if I wanted him too) because I knew if I received bad news that I would need a good cry by myself. It's just how I am. After anxiously awaiting in the waiting area for 30 minutes I get called up and told they don't accept my insurance. WHAT? It's the same insurance I had with Gracelyn and everything was covered. They did some calling - nope, we don't take it. I then said ok then I will just go right next store to McLaren hospital where I delivered Gracelyn. She then told me I couldn't, they wouldn't accept my insurance either. I was beyond frustrated as my insurance was the same and I delivered Gracelyn there - I was so confused. The lady was not very helpful and didn't even seem to care. I grabbed my insurance cards and walked out balling my eyes out.
I was so emotional and frustrated. Here I'm bleeding for 2 days, may be losing our baby and I am sent away with no direction. I called Jeremy and was a mess. I didn't know what to do or where to go. He told me to call my midwife and get direction from her. I did and was told to go to Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc which is where I delivered Ethan.
So I made the 15 minute drive there. I got in right away and waited in the ER area. Not a fun place to be. There was a girl throwing up horribly next to me, begging for help and I couldn't handle it. I was plugging my ears and singing every time she started to get sick. Which was every few minutes. Ugh - I felt so bad for her.
One of the chief doctors came in and talked with me for a bit. He said it was a very good sign that I wasn't having any cramping and how many women spot during pregnancy and everything is fine. His words comforted me and made me hopeful and so did all my friends that were praying for me. I was feeling like all was well with our little one.
I was told I would get an ultrasound and a pelvic exam and have some blood work done and would be there for 3-4 hours. I totally didn't expect to be there that long but of course just went with the flow. Hours later they wheeled me up to the ultrasound room. The tech did an external ultrasound first but had the volume off so I couldn't hear if there was a heartbeat or anything and couldn't see the screen either. Sigh. She then sent me to the bathroom to empty my bladder and told me to come back and we would do the internal ultrasound.
I did and came back in and said to her, "So, do you know anything? Is the baby ok??" and she said to me, "I'm not allowed to release any information. It has to come from a doctor. It's our policy."
Grrrreat! More waiting. As she was doing the internal ultrasound I was trying to read her body language. Nothing. I'm sure she's a pro at this and not expressing emotion. However, behind the ultrasound machine was a small TV up on the wall and I could see the reflection of the ultrasound a bit on there. I never saw any movement and my hope quickly faded. My peace was gone. She then wheeled me out and told me she called someone to come get me (I was in a hospital bed) and then she said to me, "Good luck with everything." Once I heard those words from her and the way she said it I immediately knew it was not good news. I was trying to still be positive but I just had that bad feeling. The feeling I had all along.
Another hour or more later I finally received the news. The baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing at 7 weeks, 5 days. I of course showed no emotion in front of the doctor and nurse that broke the news but the minute they left I broke down. I got my good cry out and I knew I needed it.
I headed home tearful. Once I got home Jer and I talked outside for awhile and it really helped. I felt a lot better after our talk. He always knows the right things to say to make me feel better. Thanks baby.
My mom was over watching the kids so we talked for awhile also before she left. Thanks so much mom for all you've done for us the past few days - we sure appreciate you.
I began texting family and friends and letting them know the news. It was so comforting to know how many were praying for me - thank you all so much.
About midnight on the 28th I started to have some cramping. I slept for 2 hours and then woke up and the cramping was worse and I was starting to have painful contractions - just like labor. Around 3am they were so bad that I was starting to feel dizzy and sick and was in tears. I wanted my epidural and of course that wasn't happening. I called my midwife - not knowing what to do. We decided we were going to go into the ER because it could last hours before passing the baby and if I went in I would get a D&C and be done with it.
I called my mom and she was on her way over. My poor mom - it's just like me to go into labor in the wee hours of the morning. It's happened with all of my pregnancies!
I was praying and asking God if He could please let me pass the baby at home. I dreaded going back to the hospital and dreaded getting a D&C. It made me real nervous and I didn't like the sound of it - even though I would be knocked out for the procedure.
Around 4am I smoothly and peacefully passed the baby at home. I felt God's love for me so much - He cares about the details!! I didn't think I would want to see the baby but that quickly changed once I passed it. I could see the baby, little eyes and mouth already formed. Such a miracle. Jer saw him/her also and my mom asked if she could too which I said sure. Then I waited alone in the bathroom with the baby for awhile and said goodbye. My midwife said I could call the funeral home, etc. but I didn't feel that was necessary for me at this stage.
I've definitely had my moments of breaking down and just sobbing. It comes at different times - usually when I'm alone. I had an overwhelming sadness last night as I was walking through Target and just then remembered the diaper bag. My new diaper bag that Jer surprised me with for the new baby. Of course I can use it now - but it's just not the same. I was saving it for the new baby. Sigh.
God has given me lots of peace mixed in with the tears. It's definitely not an easy thing - I've shed lots of tears and just have felt a deep sadness....knowing Ethan and Gracelyn's little brother or sister I will never meet here on earth - just an overwhelming sadness at times. But God has brought me so much peace in different ways and I have felt His love immensely. God is good and I trust Him. He loves me and didn't want my baby to die. I truly believe that. Some people may say, "Well, it was just God's will because He is in control." I just don't believe that, I never have. He creates all life and it's surely not His will for my babies to die. It's just not who He is. But, we have to realize that we live in a fallen world and lots of things happen that aren't God's will. God's will is for ALL to know Him but we know that not all will accept Him.
Sometimes we aren't going to understand why things happen and we have to learn to accept that and move forward. I don't blame God for our baby dying because I don't believe He had any part in it. He was the one who created our baby. I will just continue to trust Him, love Him and serve Him with my life - He has blessed my life with many good things.
Church was so great. I didn't think I would want to go today because I knew seeing my friends and getting those long hugs would only bring tears but I woke up wanting to go and I'm so glad we did. I did get some hugs and I did have some tears but I also had joy. I felt God's love in so many ways through all of this and I thanked Him for loving me enough to know what I needed and what I didn't need.
The two people that are bringing me so much joy and healing are my two little loves, Ethan and Gracelyn. Without them I think this would be so much harder on me. But they keep me busy and they keep me smiling and laughing. They warm my heart. Ethan likes to hold Jeremy's hand in the car sometimes while we're driving. The minute Gracelyn saw them holding hands she reached our her hand to me and let out a little whine like, "Ok, I want to be a part of this too!" And there we sat holding hands - so cute.
My midwife informed me that if we wanted to try again soon for another baby that I had to wait 3 cycles. But, as of right now I am not desiring to try for another baby - I feel pretty content with the 2 we have. I might change my mind at some point and Jer is open to having more so we will just take each day, each month as it comes and we'll both know when the time is right to try for another one if that should be our desire.
Another really sad thing for me is that I received the saddest news on the same day we received our sad news. My friend that I posted about a couple months ago that has cancer - she is younger than me and is a single mom to her little boy, Barrett. Not sure if you remember my post about her? I think I deleted the post but if you remember about her she's been fighting for her life. She's had a rare form of cervical cancer. Well, she lost her fight and I've shed so many tears over it. She knew Jesus which I am very thankful for but have been just so sad thinking about her little boy, Barrett Jay who will never know his momma. Or at least not until they meet one day in heaven. It's just so tragic and my heart is hurting over it. Please be praying for little Barrett - I'm praying that his life is blessed and filled with good things and that he will grow up to know how much his momma loved him and fighted for him. Here's a recent picture of her and her son - you may remember this picture I posted awhile back.
On a happy note, I have some exciting news. Awhile back I was praying about watching a friend of mine's new baby this fall. I used to watch her son when I had my daycare and she's now had a new little boy. We then got pregnant and I felt it would be too much so I passed on the opportunity. Well, Friday morning I had a message from her asking me if I knew of anyone that could watch her little one. The person she had lined up was now not going to work out. I told her I may be interested. At that point I didn't know if we were losing the baby or not because I hadn't gone in for my ultrasound yet but I told her I would get back to her. So anyways, I say all that to say I am going to be watching him part time, starting on September 7th. I feel the timing is perfect and that it will be good for me and I'm really excited about it. His name is Brady and he's 4 months old. She tells me he's such a good baby and I'm excited to have a real little one around the house again seeing as my sweet Gracelyn is growing up on me way too fast! Here's a little glimpse of Brady's cuteness :)
Jaxen is Brady's big brother who I used to watch in my daycare.
Special thanks to "Mama Jude" and "Papa Ray" for coming over and watching the kids yesterday for us so we could go out to dinner and Target. It was much needed for me and we really appreciated it.
Thanks again to all of you who have sent me a message, text, thought about me and have been praying for me. Your prayers are truly felt and have brought healing to me.
Love you all,
Momma Keri ♥
For those of you who haven't heard, Jeremy and I said goodbye to our 3rd baby yesterday. Let me tell you the story.
About 2 weeks ago I had some very, very light spotting. It was barely anything but to me I immediately had a bad feeling because I've never spotted with my last two. Many women spot during pregnancy and their babies are just fine but I just felt in my spirit that something wasn't right.
A week later I had some abdominal pain all day - not cramping - just some weird pains. It only lasted a day and that was it. I didn't think much of it.
Fast forward to my birthday, Thursday the 26th. I took the kids to the park that morning and got home, went to the bathroom and said "Uh-oh". My heart sank. I was spotting and this time it was much more and bright red. Not a good sign. Again, I immediately had a bad feeling.
Sometimes it's a hard balance because it's important to claim God's promises in our lives and stand on His word and not believe every bad report that is given but bad things do happen - hard times do come and we have to face them, accept them and heal from them. It's just part of life.
I called my midwife and she asked me a few questions and then told me if the spotting continued or if it increased or if I started to cramp to call her back and she would order an ultrasound. Well, I called her the next morning (Friday the 27th) because it hadn't stopped and I really wanted to go in and get that ultrasound and ease my mind either way.
She sent me in to this place right by the hospital where I delivered Gracelyn. I decided I wanted to go alone (although Jer would have come with me if I wanted him too) because I knew if I received bad news that I would need a good cry by myself. It's just how I am. After anxiously awaiting in the waiting area for 30 minutes I get called up and told they don't accept my insurance. WHAT? It's the same insurance I had with Gracelyn and everything was covered. They did some calling - nope, we don't take it. I then said ok then I will just go right next store to McLaren hospital where I delivered Gracelyn. She then told me I couldn't, they wouldn't accept my insurance either. I was beyond frustrated as my insurance was the same and I delivered Gracelyn there - I was so confused. The lady was not very helpful and didn't even seem to care. I grabbed my insurance cards and walked out balling my eyes out.
I was so emotional and frustrated. Here I'm bleeding for 2 days, may be losing our baby and I am sent away with no direction. I called Jeremy and was a mess. I didn't know what to do or where to go. He told me to call my midwife and get direction from her. I did and was told to go to Genesys Hospital in Grand Blanc which is where I delivered Ethan.
So I made the 15 minute drive there. I got in right away and waited in the ER area. Not a fun place to be. There was a girl throwing up horribly next to me, begging for help and I couldn't handle it. I was plugging my ears and singing every time she started to get sick. Which was every few minutes. Ugh - I felt so bad for her.
One of the chief doctors came in and talked with me for a bit. He said it was a very good sign that I wasn't having any cramping and how many women spot during pregnancy and everything is fine. His words comforted me and made me hopeful and so did all my friends that were praying for me. I was feeling like all was well with our little one.
I was told I would get an ultrasound and a pelvic exam and have some blood work done and would be there for 3-4 hours. I totally didn't expect to be there that long but of course just went with the flow. Hours later they wheeled me up to the ultrasound room. The tech did an external ultrasound first but had the volume off so I couldn't hear if there was a heartbeat or anything and couldn't see the screen either. Sigh. She then sent me to the bathroom to empty my bladder and told me to come back and we would do the internal ultrasound.
I did and came back in and said to her, "So, do you know anything? Is the baby ok??" and she said to me, "I'm not allowed to release any information. It has to come from a doctor. It's our policy."
Grrrreat! More waiting. As she was doing the internal ultrasound I was trying to read her body language. Nothing. I'm sure she's a pro at this and not expressing emotion. However, behind the ultrasound machine was a small TV up on the wall and I could see the reflection of the ultrasound a bit on there. I never saw any movement and my hope quickly faded. My peace was gone. She then wheeled me out and told me she called someone to come get me (I was in a hospital bed) and then she said to me, "Good luck with everything." Once I heard those words from her and the way she said it I immediately knew it was not good news. I was trying to still be positive but I just had that bad feeling. The feeling I had all along.
Another hour or more later I finally received the news. The baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing at 7 weeks, 5 days. I of course showed no emotion in front of the doctor and nurse that broke the news but the minute they left I broke down. I got my good cry out and I knew I needed it.
I headed home tearful. Once I got home Jer and I talked outside for awhile and it really helped. I felt a lot better after our talk. He always knows the right things to say to make me feel better. Thanks baby.
My mom was over watching the kids so we talked for awhile also before she left. Thanks so much mom for all you've done for us the past few days - we sure appreciate you.
I began texting family and friends and letting them know the news. It was so comforting to know how many were praying for me - thank you all so much.
About midnight on the 28th I started to have some cramping. I slept for 2 hours and then woke up and the cramping was worse and I was starting to have painful contractions - just like labor. Around 3am they were so bad that I was starting to feel dizzy and sick and was in tears. I wanted my epidural and of course that wasn't happening. I called my midwife - not knowing what to do. We decided we were going to go into the ER because it could last hours before passing the baby and if I went in I would get a D&C and be done with it.
I called my mom and she was on her way over. My poor mom - it's just like me to go into labor in the wee hours of the morning. It's happened with all of my pregnancies!
I was praying and asking God if He could please let me pass the baby at home. I dreaded going back to the hospital and dreaded getting a D&C. It made me real nervous and I didn't like the sound of it - even though I would be knocked out for the procedure.
Around 4am I smoothly and peacefully passed the baby at home. I felt God's love for me so much - He cares about the details!! I didn't think I would want to see the baby but that quickly changed once I passed it. I could see the baby, little eyes and mouth already formed. Such a miracle. Jer saw him/her also and my mom asked if she could too which I said sure. Then I waited alone in the bathroom with the baby for awhile and said goodbye. My midwife said I could call the funeral home, etc. but I didn't feel that was necessary for me at this stage.
I've definitely had my moments of breaking down and just sobbing. It comes at different times - usually when I'm alone. I had an overwhelming sadness last night as I was walking through Target and just then remembered the diaper bag. My new diaper bag that Jer surprised me with for the new baby. Of course I can use it now - but it's just not the same. I was saving it for the new baby. Sigh.
God has given me lots of peace mixed in with the tears. It's definitely not an easy thing - I've shed lots of tears and just have felt a deep sadness....knowing Ethan and Gracelyn's little brother or sister I will never meet here on earth - just an overwhelming sadness at times. But God has brought me so much peace in different ways and I have felt His love immensely. God is good and I trust Him. He loves me and didn't want my baby to die. I truly believe that. Some people may say, "Well, it was just God's will because He is in control." I just don't believe that, I never have. He creates all life and it's surely not His will for my babies to die. It's just not who He is. But, we have to realize that we live in a fallen world and lots of things happen that aren't God's will. God's will is for ALL to know Him but we know that not all will accept Him.
Sometimes we aren't going to understand why things happen and we have to learn to accept that and move forward. I don't blame God for our baby dying because I don't believe He had any part in it. He was the one who created our baby. I will just continue to trust Him, love Him and serve Him with my life - He has blessed my life with many good things.
Church was so great. I didn't think I would want to go today because I knew seeing my friends and getting those long hugs would only bring tears but I woke up wanting to go and I'm so glad we did. I did get some hugs and I did have some tears but I also had joy. I felt God's love in so many ways through all of this and I thanked Him for loving me enough to know what I needed and what I didn't need.
The two people that are bringing me so much joy and healing are my two little loves, Ethan and Gracelyn. Without them I think this would be so much harder on me. But they keep me busy and they keep me smiling and laughing. They warm my heart. Ethan likes to hold Jeremy's hand in the car sometimes while we're driving. The minute Gracelyn saw them holding hands she reached our her hand to me and let out a little whine like, "Ok, I want to be a part of this too!" And there we sat holding hands - so cute.
My midwife informed me that if we wanted to try again soon for another baby that I had to wait 3 cycles. But, as of right now I am not desiring to try for another baby - I feel pretty content with the 2 we have. I might change my mind at some point and Jer is open to having more so we will just take each day, each month as it comes and we'll both know when the time is right to try for another one if that should be our desire.
Another really sad thing for me is that I received the saddest news on the same day we received our sad news. My friend that I posted about a couple months ago that has cancer - she is younger than me and is a single mom to her little boy, Barrett. Not sure if you remember my post about her? I think I deleted the post but if you remember about her she's been fighting for her life. She's had a rare form of cervical cancer. Well, she lost her fight and I've shed so many tears over it. She knew Jesus which I am very thankful for but have been just so sad thinking about her little boy, Barrett Jay who will never know his momma. Or at least not until they meet one day in heaven. It's just so tragic and my heart is hurting over it. Please be praying for little Barrett - I'm praying that his life is blessed and filled with good things and that he will grow up to know how much his momma loved him and fighted for him. Here's a recent picture of her and her son - you may remember this picture I posted awhile back.
On a happy note, I have some exciting news. Awhile back I was praying about watching a friend of mine's new baby this fall. I used to watch her son when I had my daycare and she's now had a new little boy. We then got pregnant and I felt it would be too much so I passed on the opportunity. Well, Friday morning I had a message from her asking me if I knew of anyone that could watch her little one. The person she had lined up was now not going to work out. I told her I may be interested. At that point I didn't know if we were losing the baby or not because I hadn't gone in for my ultrasound yet but I told her I would get back to her. So anyways, I say all that to say I am going to be watching him part time, starting on September 7th. I feel the timing is perfect and that it will be good for me and I'm really excited about it. His name is Brady and he's 4 months old. She tells me he's such a good baby and I'm excited to have a real little one around the house again seeing as my sweet Gracelyn is growing up on me way too fast! Here's a little glimpse of Brady's cuteness :)
Jaxen is Brady's big brother who I used to watch in my daycare.Special thanks to "Mama Jude" and "Papa Ray" for coming over and watching the kids yesterday for us so we could go out to dinner and Target. It was much needed for me and we really appreciated it.
Thanks again to all of you who have sent me a message, text, thought about me and have been praying for me. Your prayers are truly felt and have brought healing to me.
Love you all,
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 25, 2010
Happy Birthday, Baby!
I'm so thankful for today. 34 years ago today my hubby was born. A cute little bundle of love he was and still is. I'm so thankful he was born and that 5 years and 1 day later I was born ♥ I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else - he's my very favorite person. We don't have too much planned for the day but we are going to Red Robin tonight to celebrate - we both get a free dinner in honor of our birthday so free food is always good food ♥
On another note, I'm 9 weeks, 3 days! The baby is size of a green olive.
Mmm, I love green olives...although looking at this big bowl makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach. Perhaps it's because it's first thing in the morning and I haven't had my bowl of cereal yet. "Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!" I'm feeling great and getting anxious for my first baby appt. a week from today!
Jeremy and I had a great anniversary. My mom came over to watch the kids so we could go to dinner. We got mexican (one of our favorite foods) and went to On the Border. It's one of our favorite places but we don't go there often. It was so nice to go there and relax and take our time eating and talking without the kids. I must admit though, I always miss them...even when we are only gone a couple hours. We both enjoyed our dinner, talking and then exchanged cards. He always melts my heart with his words and I thank the Lord so much for bringing me such an amazing husband. I adore him. I asked the waiter if he would take a picture for us and what a good job he did! It's my new favorite picture of us ♥ I showed it to Jeremy last night and said, "It's no wonder our kids are so cute" ;) I know, I know, not very humble but we are just so cute together :)
I snapped some of the sweetest pictures of the kids yesterday. Man I just love these little people!! They are just the cutest and sweetest in their own ways and I love it. I love having a little boy and girl. It is so fun to have one of each. Alright, are you ready to prepare your eyes for the cutest picture ever taken?? No really, it is the sweetest thing ever. Ok, here it comes...my little angels walking and holding hands ♥ My newest favorite thing that Ethan does. They are so sweet together.
Here's another one
Aren't they the sweetest?
Here's a couple others I took yesterday that I'm in love with. Ethan has the cutest smile and I love the way Gracelyn always looks at him.
And this next picture shows off their adorable faces that I want to kiss all day long.
I pray Ethan grows up to be just like his dad. Any girl will be blessed to call him hers. He's just the sweetest. Glad I have many years before I have to worry about girls though :)
Hope your day is blessed!
Momma Keri ♥
On another note, I'm 9 weeks, 3 days! The baby is size of a green olive.
Mmm, I love green olives...although looking at this big bowl makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach. Perhaps it's because it's first thing in the morning and I haven't had my bowl of cereal yet. "Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!" I'm feeling great and getting anxious for my first baby appt. a week from today!Jeremy and I had a great anniversary. My mom came over to watch the kids so we could go to dinner. We got mexican (one of our favorite foods) and went to On the Border. It's one of our favorite places but we don't go there often. It was so nice to go there and relax and take our time eating and talking without the kids. I must admit though, I always miss them...even when we are only gone a couple hours. We both enjoyed our dinner, talking and then exchanged cards. He always melts my heart with his words and I thank the Lord so much for bringing me such an amazing husband. I adore him. I asked the waiter if he would take a picture for us and what a good job he did! It's my new favorite picture of us ♥ I showed it to Jeremy last night and said, "It's no wonder our kids are so cute" ;) I know, I know, not very humble but we are just so cute together :)
I snapped some of the sweetest pictures of the kids yesterday. Man I just love these little people!! They are just the cutest and sweetest in their own ways and I love it. I love having a little boy and girl. It is so fun to have one of each. Alright, are you ready to prepare your eyes for the cutest picture ever taken?? No really, it is the sweetest thing ever. Ok, here it comes...my little angels walking and holding hands ♥ My newest favorite thing that Ethan does. They are so sweet together.
Here's another one
Aren't they the sweetest?Here's a couple others I took yesterday that I'm in love with. Ethan has the cutest smile and I love the way Gracelyn always looks at him.
And this next picture shows off their adorable faces that I want to kiss all day long.
I pray Ethan grows up to be just like his dad. Any girl will be blessed to call him hers. He's just the sweetest. Glad I have many years before I have to worry about girls though :)
Hope your day is blessed!
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 23, 2010
7 Years ♥
In less than 2 hours (7 years ago) I was about to become Mrs. Jeremy Harrison. I wasn't nervous at all (ok, except for falling down the brick path way that led me to my soon to be husband) to marry Jeremy. I knew he would forever be faithful to me and love me unconditionally. He was my best friend and I couldn't wait to be his wife.
The day was perfect. We got married outside by the water - just a small ceremony with 50 people in attendance. We then headed over to my parents for our reception in the backyard that looked so nice with the big white tents and beautiful tables. We had the most perfect weather - not a drop of rain. We were surrounded by 130 of our closest friends and family and it was such a memorable day.
Here's my daddy-o walking me down the aisle. Man, I sure was skinny :)
And here is one of my favorite pictures of Jeremy and I on our special day.
Here's a pic of Jeremy and his brother - my man is so good looking :)
My man and I sneaking in a kiss at the reception ♥
And me and my girls having so much fun jumping on our trampoline :)
The wedding was fun but marriage is the real test of love. I'm not going to say it's always been easy because we've had hard days too - like every other marriage does at some point but married life has been wonderful and I love being married. I always prayed that God would bring me a husband that had some qualities that I admired in my Grandpa and He did. That really sweet and sensitive side. A man that didn't raise his voice at me or have a temper. That was huge for me. In the 10 years I've known Jeremy and the 7 we've been married he's never once raised his voice at me and I know he never will. That's such a big deal for me - thank you baby for never raising your voice at me and for always loving me. You're the best thing (aside from Jesus) that has ever happened to me.
Fast forward 5 years into our marriage. On Valentine's Day of 2008 we welcomed our first child, a baby boy into our lives. Although Ethan is one of the most amazing gifts I've ever received, the day he was born was one of the worst days of my life. I had an extremely hard labor - wow - I don't even like going back to that day. It was just horrible. I say this to say that Jeremy was amazing during all of it. Rooting me on, encouraging me, crying with me when I was in so much pain - he's truly a wonderful man, I feel so blessed. I'll never forget when I was going through the worst of the pain and he leaned in and whispered to me, "Baby, you're doing great. Just think...pretty soon you'll have a baby in your arms." And I said, "I.....don't....care.....about....the.....baby!!!" LOL. Oh labor - it truly is quite the experience.
Here is one of my all time favorite photos of Jeremy holding Ethan at just a couple days old. Not sure why I love it so much. I suppose because I knew what a blessed son Ethan would be to have a daddy who would love him all his life. And look at Ethan...I just think he is scrumptious in this photo! It's one of my very favorites ♥
And here we are going home as a family of THREE!
Fast forward another year. Our beautiful baby girl was born. Jeremy and I both cried when she was born. I remember crying with Ethan's but it was because I was in so much pain still and I was so glad it was over. With Gracelyn it was that special moment - happy tears - we have a daughter!! Here is my favorite picture of Gracelyn as a newborn. Thank you Christina Kingsley :)
And here we are....going home as a family of four ♥ 
Fast forward to now...we are still in love, even after having 2 babies :) There's nothing like having a baby that is part you and part the man you love the most. It's such a special gift and what a beautiful love story. We are excited to have one more little peanut on the way and we're enjoying this life that God has blessed us with.
Happy Anniversary, JD. I will love you always and can't wait to spend another 7 years by your side.
Love,
Me ♥
The day was perfect. We got married outside by the water - just a small ceremony with 50 people in attendance. We then headed over to my parents for our reception in the backyard that looked so nice with the big white tents and beautiful tables. We had the most perfect weather - not a drop of rain. We were surrounded by 130 of our closest friends and family and it was such a memorable day.
Here's my daddy-o walking me down the aisle. Man, I sure was skinny :)
And here is one of my favorite pictures of Jeremy and I on our special day.
Here's a pic of Jeremy and his brother - my man is so good looking :)
My man and I sneaking in a kiss at the reception ♥
And me and my girls having so much fun jumping on our trampoline :)
The wedding was fun but marriage is the real test of love. I'm not going to say it's always been easy because we've had hard days too - like every other marriage does at some point but married life has been wonderful and I love being married. I always prayed that God would bring me a husband that had some qualities that I admired in my Grandpa and He did. That really sweet and sensitive side. A man that didn't raise his voice at me or have a temper. That was huge for me. In the 10 years I've known Jeremy and the 7 we've been married he's never once raised his voice at me and I know he never will. That's such a big deal for me - thank you baby for never raising your voice at me and for always loving me. You're the best thing (aside from Jesus) that has ever happened to me.
Fast forward 5 years into our marriage. On Valentine's Day of 2008 we welcomed our first child, a baby boy into our lives. Although Ethan is one of the most amazing gifts I've ever received, the day he was born was one of the worst days of my life. I had an extremely hard labor - wow - I don't even like going back to that day. It was just horrible. I say this to say that Jeremy was amazing during all of it. Rooting me on, encouraging me, crying with me when I was in so much pain - he's truly a wonderful man, I feel so blessed. I'll never forget when I was going through the worst of the pain and he leaned in and whispered to me, "Baby, you're doing great. Just think...pretty soon you'll have a baby in your arms." And I said, "I.....don't....care.....about....the.....baby!!!" LOL. Oh labor - it truly is quite the experience.
Here is one of my all time favorite photos of Jeremy holding Ethan at just a couple days old. Not sure why I love it so much. I suppose because I knew what a blessed son Ethan would be to have a daddy who would love him all his life. And look at Ethan...I just think he is scrumptious in this photo! It's one of my very favorites ♥
And here we are going home as a family of THREE!
Fast forward another year. Our beautiful baby girl was born. Jeremy and I both cried when she was born. I remember crying with Ethan's but it was because I was in so much pain still and I was so glad it was over. With Gracelyn it was that special moment - happy tears - we have a daughter!! Here is my favorite picture of Gracelyn as a newborn. Thank you Christina Kingsley :)
And here we are....going home as a family of four ♥ 
Fast forward to now...we are still in love, even after having 2 babies :) There's nothing like having a baby that is part you and part the man you love the most. It's such a special gift and what a beautiful love story. We are excited to have one more little peanut on the way and we're enjoying this life that God has blessed us with.
Happy Anniversary, JD. I will love you always and can't wait to spend another 7 years by your side.
Love,
Me ♥
Aug 20, 2010
Big Boy Bed....
Next month we plan on making the big transition. Converting Ethan's crib into a big boy bed! Sigh. Is it really that time already? My baby boy is growing up a little too fast. I can't believe my little Valentine baby is already 2 1/2 years old. I have cherished watching him learn and grow up and he's really becoming a little man. There is a special sweetness about him that I love and adore. What a precious son he is to me. I love that kid!
So back to the bed...our plan is to make the transition when we get back from our vacation at the end of next month. I didn't want to make the transition soon to just go back to sleeping in a porta-crib for a week while we are on vacation. I think he's ready for the big switch and hopefully he adjusts to it well. I can definitely see him getting out of bed and looking at his books, etc, but his room is pretty safe so hopefully it's a smooth transition.
Ethan is really into the movie Cars right now and I found this super cute bedding set online at Buy Buy Baby that I would like to get him soon. I saw another one for half price at Walmart...but, not too thrilled with Walmart or the quality of their products so definitely gonna go with this one. I just thought I would post a picture of it - it makes me a little teary - you know, to know my little boy is growing up and hitting these milestones. I'm so blessed to have healthy children who are full of life, love and joy. There's nothing quite like being a momma - it's the best gift I've ever been given.
Looking forward to the weekend! Tomorrow morning I've got the baby closet and then after the kids naps we are headed to Milford to enjoy some Thai food to celebrate Jeremy and I's Birthdays with my family. Then back to my parents for cake, presents and celebration. I love my family - always look forward to our birthday celebrations.
Next week is our Birthday/Anniversary week so that is always a fun week for us. Monday we'll be headed to dinner and a movie (something we've only done twice since the kids have been born) so that will be a special treat. I can't believe we've been married almost 7 years - I couldn't be more in love. What a special and amazing man I married. Love you JD.
Wednesday is Jer's Birthday and Thursday is mine. I'm going out with about 12 of my girlfriends for dinner (Sagebrush - yum, yum) and then the movies to see "The Switch" - the new Jennifer Aniston movie. Should be a super fun time - I rarely go out with my girlfriends for a night out so I'm really looking forward to it!
Hope everyone enjoys the weekend, I know I will!
Momma Keri ♥
So back to the bed...our plan is to make the transition when we get back from our vacation at the end of next month. I didn't want to make the transition soon to just go back to sleeping in a porta-crib for a week while we are on vacation. I think he's ready for the big switch and hopefully he adjusts to it well. I can definitely see him getting out of bed and looking at his books, etc, but his room is pretty safe so hopefully it's a smooth transition.
Ethan is really into the movie Cars right now and I found this super cute bedding set online at Buy Buy Baby that I would like to get him soon. I saw another one for half price at Walmart...but, not too thrilled with Walmart or the quality of their products so definitely gonna go with this one. I just thought I would post a picture of it - it makes me a little teary - you know, to know my little boy is growing up and hitting these milestones. I'm so blessed to have healthy children who are full of life, love and joy. There's nothing quite like being a momma - it's the best gift I've ever been given.
Looking forward to the weekend! Tomorrow morning I've got the baby closet and then after the kids naps we are headed to Milford to enjoy some Thai food to celebrate Jeremy and I's Birthdays with my family. Then back to my parents for cake, presents and celebration. I love my family - always look forward to our birthday celebrations.
Next week is our Birthday/Anniversary week so that is always a fun week for us. Monday we'll be headed to dinner and a movie (something we've only done twice since the kids have been born) so that will be a special treat. I can't believe we've been married almost 7 years - I couldn't be more in love. What a special and amazing man I married. Love you JD.
Wednesday is Jer's Birthday and Thursday is mine. I'm going out with about 12 of my girlfriends for dinner (Sagebrush - yum, yum) and then the movies to see "The Switch" - the new Jennifer Aniston movie. Should be a super fun time - I rarely go out with my girlfriends for a night out so I'm really looking forward to it!
Hope everyone enjoys the weekend, I know I will!
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 17, 2010
8 weeks and more
8 weeks, 3 days. Baby is now the size of a raspberry. "Your baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy." I'm feeling good, just trying to get as much rest as I can. Pretty tired these days.
This past Friday night I had my 2nd Premier Design Jewelry Party. It was fun to have another night to hang with the girls, drink punch, eat cake - you know - girl stuff :) I never spend money on jewelry so between my two parties I'll get more than $300 worth of free stuff! Love it! Here is a picture of the yummy cake I had made. Oh how I love VG's cakes - they are my very favorite! Didn't they do a great job with the design? No pun intended.
Saturday was a fun day. We had our Harrison family reunion out at Brian and Kelly's house in Macomb. They have a pool so of course all the kids loved it! Ethan normally will not go in the pool but he really warmed up to it and played with daddy and "Mama Jude" for awhile. Here's proof!
Cute Chloe
Gracelyn & Daddy
Ethan and Marshall (2nd cousins who are just 1 week apart in age)
My new favorite photo of Ethan. Amazing.
And the yummy cake we all devoured :)
It was a really nice time. Lots and lots of great yummy food and it's always nice to see everyone. The Harrison's are a great family to be a part of!
Sunday was a fun day also. We headed to Milford Memories. It's once a year and it's kinda like a big art/craft fair type of thing. Thousands of people walking downtown checking out all the cool tents of unique items for sale. My aunt also owns a store downtown so we visited with her also and of course had to get my most favorite food, Thai :) Mmm, I could eat Thai everyday!
My friend Josh is getting married next month and I picked up a super cool gift for him. They have these photographs that people take of different things that look like letters...they have probably 10-15 different photos per letter...you pick out the photos/letters you want, pick a frame and BAM! Super cool wedding gift! Wouldn't you agree? I can't wait to give it to him. Oh and in case you can't figure out what it says - it spells out his last name. Cash :)
I reconnected with an old friend of mine this past weekend and it has brought so much healing and joy to my heart. She used to be my very best friend. It's been a good 10 years since we've been in contact so it's been really fun to catch up and see what she's been up to. We both are happily married with 2 kids :) Ok, and one more on the way for me :) Anyhow, it's just been a really neat thing for me and I'm so glad we're back in touch again. Lots of great memories we shared together. We always had a special closeness and she was always such a special friend to me ♥
That's all for now - hope everyone is having a blessed week!
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 10, 2010
7 weeks and pictures :)
I'm 7 weeks, 2 days and baby Harrison is now the size of a blueberry :) "Baby's brain -- both hemispheres! -- is growing fast, generating about 100 new cells every minute. Arms and legs are emerging as joints start to form, and a permanent set of kidneys (baby's third!) is now in place." That's my update on baby in week 7 :) I'm feeling good, just tired all the time and hungry all the time too.Last week one night I took the kids over to Aunt Kristy's house to play. We went out to dinner and walked in downtown Northville and played at 2 parks with the kids. They loved it and it was a beautiful night to do it. Here are a few pictures from the night.
Gracelyn and her big beautiful eyes
Aunt Kristy and the kids playing on a fun twirl around ride
Ethan having so much fun!
Beautiful little girl
Ethan having fun on another fun spin ride
And both of the kids having fun on the spin ride :)
Here are the kids "fixing" the vacuum. Apparently it was in need of some repairs :)
This past weekend we headed to Manistee/Traverse City with Jeremy's parents. It was a short trip but a lot of fun! The kids enjoyed the beach and going to Lake Michigan and we had dinner on the river and the kids played in the hotel pool also which was fun. Here are a few photos from the weekend and thanks again to my in-laws for a great weekend!
Gracelyn and her daddy ♥
That's all for now!
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 6, 2010
He loves me :)
My husband that is. He surprised me this morning....sent me a couple of texts with "clues" which led me out to the van...which led me to a big wrapped box...which led me to the diaper bag I posted about the other day that I love and wanted but couldn't justify buying! I was completely surprised and definitely wasn't expecting it at all! It of course totally made my day and I just love it! I love it even more in person and I even stuffed some diapers and wipes in there just for fun to see what it looks like packed :)
It's my early anniversary/birthday gift from him ♥ So exciting! Thank you so much baby for the surprise! I just love the bag and can't wait for our little boy/girl to get here and fill it with newborn diapers and burp cloths :)
Speaking of which, I did this fun little old wives tale game yesterday that is supposed to predict the gender of your baby. I've always thought it was so silly but did it for fun :) It amazingly worked and was right with all of my kids. I did them all multiple times and it was right each time. Well, it told me 3 times that it's a girl :)
I was telling Jer about it last night and how I totally have no idea what we're having! He said he was feeling boy because we already had a name but that this is the first time he isn't confident in the gender. The last two he was so confident and told me immediately what we were having and never wavered. This time we aren't sure :) I would love for Gracelyn to have a sister...but would love for Ethan to have a brother...so it will be exciting either way...and no, I don't want twins so don't even say it!!
I'm still going back and forth between finding out the gender or letting it be a surprise on the baby's birthday. Some days I think I want to find out and then other days I want it to be a surprise. Well, when ultrasound day comes we'll see how I feel :)
We are taking a short trip/vacation this weekend. We are heading up north to Manistee/Traverse City in the morning and spending the day/night there and will come home Sunday sometime. Should be a fun little getaway with the kids. My in-laws are going also and paying for our hotel room as an anniversary/birthday gift to us. Thank you guys so much!! We weren't expecting that. I guess today is full of fun surprises...perhaps this means I should let the gender be a surprise too? :)
I'm sure I'll have some cute pictures of the kids to share when we get back. Back to cleaning the house and getting all the laundry done and start packing the kids bags.
Enjoy the weekend and be blessed!
Momma Keri ♥
It's my early anniversary/birthday gift from him ♥ So exciting! Thank you so much baby for the surprise! I just love the bag and can't wait for our little boy/girl to get here and fill it with newborn diapers and burp cloths :)
Speaking of which, I did this fun little old wives tale game yesterday that is supposed to predict the gender of your baby. I've always thought it was so silly but did it for fun :) It amazingly worked and was right with all of my kids. I did them all multiple times and it was right each time. Well, it told me 3 times that it's a girl :)
I was telling Jer about it last night and how I totally have no idea what we're having! He said he was feeling boy because we already had a name but that this is the first time he isn't confident in the gender. The last two he was so confident and told me immediately what we were having and never wavered. This time we aren't sure :) I would love for Gracelyn to have a sister...but would love for Ethan to have a brother...so it will be exciting either way...and no, I don't want twins so don't even say it!!
I'm still going back and forth between finding out the gender or letting it be a surprise on the baby's birthday. Some days I think I want to find out and then other days I want it to be a surprise. Well, when ultrasound day comes we'll see how I feel :)
We are taking a short trip/vacation this weekend. We are heading up north to Manistee/Traverse City in the morning and spending the day/night there and will come home Sunday sometime. Should be a fun little getaway with the kids. My in-laws are going also and paying for our hotel room as an anniversary/birthday gift to us. Thank you guys so much!! We weren't expecting that. I guess today is full of fun surprises...perhaps this means I should let the gender be a surprise too? :)
I'm sure I'll have some cute pictures of the kids to share when we get back. Back to cleaning the house and getting all the laundry done and start packing the kids bags.
Enjoy the weekend and be blessed!
Momma Keri ♥
Aug 5, 2010
Lead Me
I don't want to be too personal here...just to protect someone I love...but I heard this song on the radio the other day and felt, "This is her heart's cry!" The lead singer of a Christian band (Sanctus Real)...he went through a hard time in his marriage (don't we all?) and they almost split up. They even had two beautiful little girls together. I found the video of him and his wife sharing their story and it touched me and burdened me so much for those I love that are going through marital problems.
God gives us so much grace. He doesn't look down on us like we sometimes do on our spouse and just see our flaws and weaknesses. He sees all the things He loves about us and as we seek Him in our lives He will work on us in our shortcomings.
When you get married you are choosing to love your spouse more than yourself. You compromise, you learn to be selfless, you put them first. It's not just about you anymore - there's someone else in your life to think about too. I believe God is in the miracle business and that no matter what you have been through in your marriage, He is more than capable of healing it and bringing restoration...but you have to want it.
I just want to encourage anyone that is going through a hard time in their marriage...think about all the reasons and things you love about your spouse...the reason they were the "one" for you and focus on those things. Don't point out all their flaws and weaknesses, we all have them and that will only draw you farther apart. God is big and He loves you so much...no matter where you've been or what you've done He is there and wants to restore your marriage. Ask Him to help you love and honor your spouse in a way that is pleasing to Him. Pray together as a couple. Love each other. Choose each other and choose God....and stay close to Him.
First watch the video of their personal testimony and then watch the music video. It is so powerful and brought me to tears.
Praying for you so much today...you know who you are...and you know why. Know that you are a precious daughter in His sight...that you have so many amazing qualities as a wife...that God sees your strengths, your qualities, your love for Him and your love for your husband. You have so much to give - continue to keep your eyes on Him. Love you so much.
God gives us so much grace. He doesn't look down on us like we sometimes do on our spouse and just see our flaws and weaknesses. He sees all the things He loves about us and as we seek Him in our lives He will work on us in our shortcomings.
When you get married you are choosing to love your spouse more than yourself. You compromise, you learn to be selfless, you put them first. It's not just about you anymore - there's someone else in your life to think about too. I believe God is in the miracle business and that no matter what you have been through in your marriage, He is more than capable of healing it and bringing restoration...but you have to want it.
I just want to encourage anyone that is going through a hard time in their marriage...think about all the reasons and things you love about your spouse...the reason they were the "one" for you and focus on those things. Don't point out all their flaws and weaknesses, we all have them and that will only draw you farther apart. God is big and He loves you so much...no matter where you've been or what you've done He is there and wants to restore your marriage. Ask Him to help you love and honor your spouse in a way that is pleasing to Him. Pray together as a couple. Love each other. Choose each other and choose God....and stay close to Him.
First watch the video of their personal testimony and then watch the music video. It is so powerful and brought me to tears.
Praying for you so much today...you know who you are...and you know why. Know that you are a precious daughter in His sight...that you have so many amazing qualities as a wife...that God sees your strengths, your qualities, your love for Him and your love for your husband. You have so much to give - continue to keep your eyes on Him. Love you so much.
Aug 4, 2010
I'm in love...
...with this diaper bag!! It's totally something I don't need but would love to have. I just love that it's super stylish and that it's something I could use even after I'm done needing it as a diaper bag.
It's more money than I'm willing to spend but oh I think it's just sooo cute!!
I found it on diaperbags.com. They have some $200 diaper bags on there - whoa! This one is on sale for $88....still a lot but oh so cute :)
Aug 3, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
6 Weeks Pregnant
I'm 6 weeks, 1 day. The baby is now the size of a sweet pea. Wow, he/she is really growing up :) "Growing like crazy, baby is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and chin. Those little hands and feet -- still webbed like paddles -- might wiggle by week's end, the heart is beating (almost twice as fast as yours!), and blood is starting to circulate." Pretty neat huh? I'm feeling pretty good - just hungry all the time. I am starting to feel sick when I'm hungry and don't eat right away but once I eat I feel fine. It's what happens with all of my pregnancies usually until the 2nd trimester.
I am back on the hunt for a girl name. I thought we had chosen a name but have now changed our minds. I was really trying to find a name that ended in "n" to stick with our theme but I've been looking at girl names for months and haven't found anything that I feel is "the one". So, this only deepens my feelings that this baby is a boy. We have a name we feel strong about and have had it before this little one was conceived. And, from our experience it seems like we've always gotten strong feelings on a name for the gender we ended up having. So, I will be shocked if this is a girl...but thrilled either way.
I laugh that no one thinks I am capable of waiting until the baby is born to find out the gender. I know I can do it, it's just deciding 100% if I want too. It's always great knowing what you're having but what fun it would be to wait and experience that big surprise. I told Jeremy if we aren't settled on a girl name before my big ultrasound day then I will want to find out because otherwise I would be in a panic. Just the way I am - need to feel settled on these type of things! We have many months to keep looking for that perfect name - it's fun looking.
Ethan and Gracelyn are doing well but still getting over their sickness. It's going on almost 2 weeks. Ugh. They both still have coughs but that's about it. Coughs seem to drag out. I prayed Gracelyn would sleep through for me last night because she didn't sleep well the night before. She did...but I prayed for the wrong child. Ha! Ethan was up from 1:45-4:15 last night. Wide awake, crying, wanting to watch tv. *Big yawn*. I am quite tired this morning. We've really been limiting his sweets, barely giving him anything sugary actually but daddy let him have an ice cream cone yesterday after dinner (since he ate well) so I think that sugar is probably what kept him up. No more sugar for that little boy!
I have some really amazing news. Little Kate, the 6 year old girl that I have been following her story for the past 13 months...she has been suffering with a brain tumor. I have grown to love her as my own and her parents have been through SO much heartache and pain this last year. She has been through many rounds of strong chemo, radiation and all the things that come with it. Losing her hair, throwing up, losing mobility in parts of her body - wow - it's been a journey just to read about and I can't imagine what her parents have gone through. The tumor has been inoperable due to it's location and the statistics of kids who get through it have not been encouraging to say the least. But in my heart from the very beginning I have felt that God was going to heal this little girl. Her story has reached thousands, millions of people. She was even on the Dr. Phil show. I have just felt that her story reached so many because God was going to heal her and her life was going to be a testimony of His love, grace and healing power to many people. She's a special little girl and her love for life is contagious.
Well, on Friday she had her PET scan. She has had many MRI's and they all have still shown cancer. How heartbreaking. If this last round of treatments....the study they had done on her was not successful they said the chances of survival were slim. The results are in and they were told on Friday that the mass in her brain is NEGATIVE for cancerous activity!!!!! It was the best news I had heard in a long time! Thank you Jesus!!!! They said they still have a long road ahead but that was the best news EVER and how deeply they longed to hear that news over the past 13 months. So, I wanted to say thank you to anyone who prayed for Kate - your prayers were heard and He did a miracle for sweet Kate. It brings the biggest smile to my face. Please continue to pray for them as they still have a long journey ahead. Many children relapse and that is a constant battle in their minds they have to fight.
Hope all is well with everyone and thanks for reading.
Love,
Momma Keri
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