Unexpected Emotions

So I have less than 6 weeks to go before I become a mommy of two...so exciting right?

Well, the past few days I have been feeling really sad about Ethan not being my baby anymore. It's so strange for me because I am not your typical girl who gets emotional about these types of things. Maybe I can blame it on my pregnancy hormones but I've just been getting sad that Ethan is growing up and that pretty soon we'll have another baby that gets lots of mommy's attention and Ethan won't get all of it anymore.

Of course I am so excited about her arrival and for Ethan to have a little sister and I'm not experiencing that "How can I love another baby just as much as Ethan" thing at all but I just feel a little sad that he's growing up, he won't be the baby anymore and so on. It's such a mixed emotions thing because you love to watch them grow and develop into little people....I look forward to each stage of life with him but I just look at his baby pictures and think about all the days and nights I used to nurse him, rock him, watch him roll over for the first time....and now those days are long gone, he's a big boy now!

I was watching videos of him last night...when we were getting ready to take him home from the hospital, his first bath....it made me all teary eyed and I almost went in his room and woke him up just so I could hold him! Don't worry, we are finally back to him sleeping through the night, I wouldn't dare so such a thing, lol!

I'll never forget the first night we brought Ethan home. He was extremely fussy and nothing was seeming to comfort him. Jeremy was starting to feel really overwhelmed and I'll never forget him coming in the bedroom while Ethan is screaming and saying to me, "If you just let me go to bed in the other room I'll do all the laundry and dishes tomorrow." LOL. Of course I told him to go to bed and that I would take care of him. I remember feeling so exhausted and this was like day #4 with no sleep and I remember telling myself, "Keri, enjoy every moment...even the hard ones because you'll get through it and before you know it these days of him being little will be over and you'll miss it." Here I am 14 months later totally seeing the truth in my thoughts at that time...I must be pretty smart ;)

On an exciting note, I am very excited about this little one coming soon and still can't believe I'm getting my little girl. I told Jeremy the other day I won't believe it's a girl until I see her with my own eyes. I have a friend that was told they were having a little girl and out popped a boy! I know I am going to enjoy the newborn stage so much more this time because I just did it with Ethan and I'll be that much more comfortable with her and I know what to expect and what not to worry about, etc. I really am looking forward to being a family of four I just miss Ethan being my itty bitty baby also that's all. I know they will be great together though and I hope Ethan grows to adore his baby sister. I can't wait to take pictures of them together, it will be so cute!

Another thing I can't wait to do is reveal her NAME! I am so not the type to keep secrets when it comes to baby stuff and I am ready to stop calling her Bertha and start calling her by her most beautiful name to the rest of the world. Should I give a hint? Ok ok I will give you one hint....her first, middle and last name combined is 19 letters. Good luck :)

Love,
Mixed Emotions Momma

34 Weeks

I'm 34 weeks today and here's a picture of my growing belly :)

My appt. with my midwife was today and all is well. She's growing right on schedule, her head is down and in position and her heartbeat is strong, she's doing great. I go back in 2 weeks and then will start going weekly after that.

As you all know, my midwife will be out of town May 21st-May 28th and she said to me today, "I hope your baby comes before I leave...that would put you at 39 weeks. I would really be like 38 weeks and a couple days but I'll be surprised to see if she comes 2 weeks early. I have a feeling she may come while my midwife is out of town but I'm praying she holds out and stays in until June. I know whatever happens that I'll get great care at McLaren so I'm not worried about it. I figure nothing can be worse than my experience with Ethan right?

That's all for now :)
Keri & Bertha

Hello Internet!

My laptop died on me a couple weeks ago and sadly is gone forever so I am now back to using my computer...which had a virus on it months ago so I switched to the laptop. Anyhow, once the laptop crashed Jeremy's brother fixed my computer so I am now back to having internet everyday and boy oh boy did I miss it!

We had a great time in the Amish once again over the Easter weekend. It was a lot of fun and we enjoyed the market, cheese factory, coblentz chocolates and of course the Carlisle Inn, my favorite hotel :) It was fun to be with family and it was fun chasing Ethan around this year....last year he was just a sweet pea, 6 weeks old so he was much more active this year. We took him in the pool for the first time which he did not like at all the first time we tried. In fact, he wouldn't even let us get him close to it without freaking out. We tried again the next day and he suddenly was ok with the idea...he would only let someone hold him in the pool though, was not interested in really getting in the water or being a fishy....we'll see if he takes a liking to the water this summer but I'm not pushing it. I have never really loved the water and so we will just let him be him and decide what he likes and doesn't like. It was fun though and I got a couple pictures as you can see.

I will be 34 weeks on Wednesday, can you believe we only have 6 weeks or so left to go? I seriously can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by and that I have just 6 weeks left being a family of three....part of me feels sad as I love giving all my attention to Ethan but I know life as a family of four will only be that much greater, more love to spread....but I think the reality of another baby coming soon reminds me that Ethan will no longer be my little baby and I don't like how fast he's growing up....I do but I don't....well if you're a mom you know what I mean!

That's all for now folks, hope all is well with everyone :)

Love,
The 3 of us

Ethan's First Roasted Chicken Dinner

Mommy made a Roasted Chicken and Mashed Potatoes tonight and gave Ethan a taste. He loved both! I cut the chicken up in little pieces and at first he was unsure but after the first bite he absolutely loved it and gobbled it all up! Hmm...maybe he will skip level 3 baby food and go right to real food? We'll see. I was excited to see him lovin' the food so much and that he didn't gag. I just tried a level 3 baby food last night and he gagged and wouldn't eat it and the pieces were smaller than the chicken he had tonight, go figure!

He is growing up too fast :(

Bloggin'

I decided I'm going to step back from blogging so often. I will still blog but maybe every couple weeks or when there is big news to report, something special to write about, etc. I'll try and keep recent pictures of Ethan up and of the new baby once she arrives.

Just an FYI for my faithful readers....didn't want you guys to think I was completely done with bloggin', just not gonna blog as often ;)

Be blessed!
Keri

Grace

I've been thinking about Grace a lot lately and how gracious God is to us and how we are always supposed to be gracious towards others. Here's a memory verse of mine that is such a good one to start the day with.

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." Ephesians 4:2

We have all been hurt and wronged by people we love in our lives (and I'm sure we're all guilty of hurting others also) and this is such a key verse to live by. We are to always be humble and gentle....and because of Christ's love for us we should return that love to others and always forgive and make allowance for one another's faults. We all make mistakes, we are all human, we are sinners saved by grace.

What a difference it makes in our lives when we START our day with God. When we start our day in the Word, even if it's just reading a verse a few times. I know when I don't put God first, it completely changes the outcome of my day. My actions, my words, my thoughts and feelings....so I just wanted to encourage everyone to get in the Word first thing in the mornings if you're not doing that already. Be humble. Be gentle with others. Forgive. Be gracious. Love people. Be selfless. God in us can help us do all of these things if we choose to do them. All of these things are choices, God doesn't make us do anything, we choose our actions, our thoughts, our words.

I close with my favorite Bible verse of all time. It says, "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23

Isn't that incredible? To know that the person that will never leave us and never forsake us directs our steps as we follow Him and that he actually delights (it gives Him great pleasure, joy, and enjoyment) in EVERY DETAIL of our lives. Not just the big things that happen but all the little things too. Those things that may seem petty to others but that matter to us....God cares about those things....every last detail. Isn't that neat? Such a cool verse.

God is good all the time (do I hear an Amen?) and I pray we all come to know that fully if we don't already.

Be blessed today!
Keri