Motherhood

Where do I start?

I feel like God has been speaking to my heart lately about my role as a mom. The kids were napping and I grabbed my Bible and plopped myself down on the couch. I needed to spend some time with Jesus, being quiet and listening to what He wanted to speak to me about and teach me. I opened up to Psalms. I quickly came across this passage: "May our sons flourish in their youth like well nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace."

Hmm. That's a cool verse I thought to myself. I don't remember ever reading that before. Or perhaps I read it before I was a mom and so it never stood out to me. Well, it stood out to me big time today and I feel like God gave me so much insight through it.

Flourish: To thrive, influence, excellence, prosper, to be successful.

Youth: The condition of being young. Early life.

Let's stop there and talk about the first part of that verse. What a beautiful prayer for our sons. Don't we all want our children to flourish? I know I do. And I'm not talking about wanting my kid to be the best in soccer or track, or the best drum player or singer or to get all A's in school. Sure, we all hope our kids flourish in some of those things too, but, that's not what I care about most. I don't believe that is what the verse is referring to. Our children excelling in "activities".

So, I read that verse and immediately pictured Ethan as a teenager. What I imagined and pray for is that Ethan flourishes in his love for the Lord. I pray He flourishes for Jesus everywhere He goes and that he's not ashamed to stand up and go against the flow. I pray that he influences many and thrives in all the talents God gives him.

Now, the daughters.

I thought to myself, "May our daughters be like graceful pillars? Carved to beautify a palace? What exactly does that mean?"

Pillar: An upright shaft, used as a building support. Standing alone. A chief support, a pillar of the community.

Carved: Design. To form.

Wow, that gave me so much insight and again I found myself picturing Gracelyn as a young teenager. My prayer over Gracelyn is that she grows up to be strong in the Lord and confident in who God has called, designed and formed her to be. And that she is graceful. That she is upright and can stand alone in Jesus. That He is always more than enough for her. That if kids make fun of her in school for talking about Jesus and loving Him that she won't care and that she will stand upright, and be a pillar of the community for Jesus!

I read this verse over and over...trying to get everything out of it that I felt God wanted to show me. And then it hit me. Who does Ethan and Gracelyn look up to? Who is their role model? If they are to flourish and stand upright, who is going to teach them these things??

Me. And daddy too.

From this one verse I feel like God spoke volumes to me about my kids and who I am called to be as their mom. See, mom means many things. Mom also means wife, friend, daughter, sister. All of those relationships fit into that little 3 letter word, M-O-M. Why? Because they see all of those relationships in my life.

It then made me sit and think about my life. The choices I make, the things I watch, the words I say, the things I listen to, the way I dress, the way I view myself...my worth in Jesus...my kids are watching. They are watching my every move. They copy everything I do. They want to be like me.

They want to be like me. Gulp.

I feel like God is challenging me to really re-evaluate my life and I needed it. My times with Him have not been consistent and they need to be. Not because I "have" to read the Bible and spend time with Him but because I want and need to. I need to be in the Word daily to be the wife, mom, sister, daughter and friend that God has called me to be.

While we all have regrets in life, I pray that in 20 years I can look back and think about when my kids were little and not have many. I don't want to have a list of regrets and things I wish I would have done or not have done with my kids. Ya know? I want to live life to the fullest, in all that God created it to be and I want to cherish, savor and soak up each moment with my kids.

Some days it's tiring and draining...being a mom. However, I can pray and ask God for strength...ok and maybe sanity too and I know each day matters to them. Each day matters to my babies. And one day when they don't like me and don't think I'm cool I will wish they were little again and adored me. Of course I pray they never think I'm not cool...but, pretty sure they will at some point :)

I am a stay at home momma and sometimes it can be easy to fall into the trap that I'm not making much of a difference.

I'm just changing diapers, feeding the kids, cleaning the house, doing laundry.

That is completely a lie from the devil. We make a HUGE difference in our kids lives. Whether we are a stay at home mom or working mom. We are shaping them and molding who they become. What an amazing opportunity we have to pour into our kids. We are making a difference.

So, it just feels good to re-evaluate my life a bit and I feel God is speaking to me in so many ways and just showing me and teaching me things I need to change to be who I am called to be in all of the relationships in my life.

It doesn't mean I'm never going to fail again and make mistakes...it just means that I have a huge part to play in who Ethan and Gracelyn become and I needed that awakening to realize just how serious that is and what that means.

Here are my babies. The ones I am called to raise, teach and mold. I pray that God continues to raise me up to be the mom I am called to be. We are making a difference.

Living today to the fullest,

Momma Keri ♥